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People.
Some i like. Others i hate.
Everybody has flaws.
... Just be happy. Thats the most stupid pile of shit saying ever.
Your life sucks, just be happy. Fucking hell.
Whats the point, people are all stupid around me. Its like my friends don't even know me.
If i 'Disappeared', the world would be full of people who either wanted me, people who didn't care, and people who pretended to care.
Nobody needs me, there is nothing in the world that 'needs' me.
So if i went missing tomorow. It wouldnt matter at all.
Justify existence.
Friday
Scenario
Your life falls apart.
You have no idea what you want in the long term.
People who used to be in your life left, and dont want to see you again because your life has changed and you have changed as a person.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, you hate what you see.
The person you used to be has gone.
You have no reason to live.
Your life sucks, full of uncertainty. The psychologist no longer wants anything to do with you. Swallow the anti depressants and it will all be ok, but it will take time.
What to do. Change? How?
I need to leave this city, its full of jealousy, hate and thoughts of what might have been.
If i leave, i get a fresh start, but if i fuck this chance up.
I dont even know.
But i dont do anything about it. I just sit in bed all day and take drugs.
I am a useless piece of shit, im still not sure if deciding to live was a good idea.
I would probably be happier dead. Its not like i am doing anything.
How would the world be different without me.
It wouldnt. Not now, not in 50 years.
So why live a life where i will get a job, grow old and die.
It seems like a useless waste of time.
So fuck it, if i sit around and do nothing, i will become depressed again and hopefully slip and die.
RIP
You have no idea what you want in the long term.
People who used to be in your life left, and dont want to see you again because your life has changed and you have changed as a person.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, you hate what you see.
The person you used to be has gone.
You have no reason to live.
Your life sucks, full of uncertainty. The psychologist no longer wants anything to do with you. Swallow the anti depressants and it will all be ok, but it will take time.
What to do. Change? How?
I need to leave this city, its full of jealousy, hate and thoughts of what might have been.
If i leave, i get a fresh start, but if i fuck this chance up.
I dont even know.
But i dont do anything about it. I just sit in bed all day and take drugs.
I am a useless piece of shit, im still not sure if deciding to live was a good idea.
I would probably be happier dead. Its not like i am doing anything.
How would the world be different without me.
It wouldnt. Not now, not in 50 years.
So why live a life where i will get a job, grow old and die.
It seems like a useless waste of time.
So fuck it, if i sit around and do nothing, i will become depressed again and hopefully slip and die.
RIP
Thursday
...
Artificial click, crackle, exhale.
Pot does wonders for the soul.
Fantastic colours, glimmering in intensity, overlaid upon a bed of smoke, twirling fractal spirals dispersed by whispering voices nobody knows, constantly changing tongues speaking hieroglyphics in inhuman situations. Ego death, de-personalization and associated acts in a shy circus surrounding your competence.
Piss.
Paint.
Smoke.
Critique.
Pot does wonders for the soul.
Fantastic colours, glimmering in intensity, overlaid upon a bed of smoke, twirling fractal spirals dispersed by whispering voices nobody knows, constantly changing tongues speaking hieroglyphics in inhuman situations. Ego death, de-personalization and associated acts in a shy circus surrounding your competence.
Piss.
Paint.
Smoke.
Critique.
Friday
Saturday
And then what?
Fuck it, my life is the most tedious chore and i fail to see any reason for my existence through this pointless miserable life i have been given.
And if thats the case, why haven't i already ended it, i feel there must be some reason, but no matter how hard i try to think about my place in the world, i see only hopelessness.
Codeine LD50 is between 800mg and 1.2g
Thats between 80 - 120 pills.
And if thats the case, why haven't i already ended it, i feel there must be some reason, but no matter how hard i try to think about my place in the world, i see only hopelessness.
Codeine LD50 is between 800mg and 1.2g
Thats between 80 - 120 pills.
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